Part 3: There's something very wrong with us so let's go out tonight
Route 2 has this... thing.
What is it
That helps.
rofl no it does not help
Someone suggested Bob, someone else suggested Dennis.
She's Bob Dennis.
Like Geodude or Roggenrola she has a resistance to normal when most things only have normal moves, but unlike them, she's part steel so she's immune to poison and might as well be immune to normal and flying.
So this Hiker has his own Barewl next to him.
Hence why he leads with a Mankey. Hey, an official Pokemon!
Most of my things are light enough that Low Kick isn't any stronger than any other moves we've been seeing, but Bob Dennis is so heavy it'd reach 100 power. Throw in her x4 fighting weakness and it'd paste her.
Low Kick is in general a really good move as things tend to get heavier as they evolve, so it stays relevant the whole time. There are outliers of course.
What's the likelihood it's blocked right now?
100%.
So we have to go through the cave. Let's take a step in and-
Hi, another official pokemon!
Dunsparce has a secret to it, Uranium gave it an evolution! But it's really far away so this guy will wait until then.
This is me realizing I'm not dealing with Nintendo's word filters, so I can include words like sex and fuck and get away with it.
5% encounter on route 2 is Mankey itself. This is the only fighting-type Pokemon available before the 1st gym.
Memes.
Most encounters in Passage Cave are this fuckwit.
It has a high speed stat and levitate and like no other assets.
I don't know what this person was thinking with this nickname but it's whatever they want!
Sturdy used to just prevent instant-KO moves like Fissure and Horn Drill from working, but in 5th generation it gained another effect. If a move would deal 100% damage in one hit, the Sturdy thing survives at 1 HP.
Extremely useful, extremely annoying.
Unfortunately I condemn him to another eon in the cave.
ANNOYING THING: the encounter rate is ludicrous. Like 2-5 steps there's another Tonemy flying into your fucking face. If it weren't for repels this would make me question living.
ANOTHER ANNOYING THING:
They have two moves basically designed to inflict poison. Between their high speed and having only psychic as a weakness, they're guaranteed to get a few of these off. Bob Dennis is immune due to being Steel, as an Orchynx would be too. Everything else is gonna have to guzzle antidotes.
Uranium keeps trying to do bad meta jokes with random trainers.
They never, ever pay off.
Luckily we're out of the cave and into Nowtoch City.
PU-Nowtoch City.ogg
It's a remix of Goldenrod City from Gold & SIlver. I didn't replace most non-battle music because I didn't really care.
Get it? Because he... uh... says the location's name but he's employed to do so?
GOOD: Uranium copies the use another repel feature introduced in Black 2 & White 2.
ALSO GOOD: it lets you select which kind of repel if you have regular, super, and max repels.
The Pokemon Center is really close to the route 2 entrance. This'd be a clever subversion if Uranium normally put Pokemon Centers in sane locations.
Is this how you pronounce Barewl? Most Uranium Pokemon don't have pronunciation guides.
201 individual Pokemon species are defined in the game. If the number seems odd, that's because it's odd.
No awakenings for sale, here or at Kevlar. But Ice Heals gotta be in from the start because... uh...
Uranium thankfully has TMs be infinite use as they have been since Black & White.
Not a hot one to start things off! The coinflip do/don't do something isn't reliable, and it's based on user and target both staying in the fight, so it's really easy to break.
but I'm hungry
Name Rater is here. He can change a Pokemon's nickname.
Why is a couple discussing raising kids a recurring element?
There's already a kid upstairs, what is this!?
I need the old rod to get my own Fortog, and even then I can't nickname the Baashaun so I never bother with this trade.
geddit???????
is this supposed to be a funny?
isn't the origin of dragonites high-level dragonairs?
How mysterious.
The other side of Route 2 is to the south. Grass is the same as before if you need a Mankey.
There are a few trainers here.
They seem to be leveled as though I've already cleared the gym, which is kinda rude to have out in the open this early.
Bob Dennis's x4 resistances carry the day.
When we get to the other side of the roadblock, a Ranger greets us.
He gives a giant spiel about how the styler works in case you needed to be assured it's harmless and in good faith and not some fucked up mind control device.
You make your own Pokemon game and you still have Captivate as a TM.
Why?
The Ranger stations keep teasing being able to take on missions but it never happens. Is this something they plan on introducing or obtuse references to the Pokemon Ranger games?
Besides brainwashing with tops, the Rangers perform all front-facing government functions i.e. emergency releif and law enforcement. This means we'll be dealing with the Rangers a lot. It's odd how much this game loves them.
The subway will not open until after the 4th gym.
In front of a gym is a fatso, who says the gym leader Maria is not in.
She's home and he's a legitimate threat to her well-being.
And he has a copy of her house key.
What the fuck?
Anyway the only way to progress is to enter her house without her permission using a shadily-obtained house key.
Spec Ops? Heh. It ain't got shit on Pokemon Uranium.
She realises it's because of stalker mccreepy and runs out.
Why is thi-
Okay OFS you can't just ask questions, gotta think of a goof.
No use crying over spoiled milk!
So yeah Maria used to be the top trainer in all of Tandor, but gave it up because of people like Stalker McCreepy. I think.
If this whole debacle must be in here, I'm glad it ends with her threatening to call the cops and the guy leaving.
He mostly leaves but the top of his head is still peeking out.
And when the cutscene is over, he vanishes into nothing.
I've never seen anyone get rejected that hard.
Up next is the Nowtoch Gym and Maria, the Yawn-type specialist.